But there are moments when I forget the blessings that surround me and instead see things as if life were crashing down around me. These are the moments when I’m no longer patient or kind, but when the very worst comes out of me.
If you’ve experience these moments yourself, you may have noticed patterns in your thinking or behavior. For me, I blame. Something goes wrong — a delayed flight, a dropped call, an explosive diaper — and my initial response is “well, if they could just…” or “if they would just do it right, just this once…” But the truth is that, the problem doesn’t lie with others, it’s with me.
I’m the problem and Christ is the solution.
When I fail to realize this, I point fingers and place blame on just about anyone and anything around me; maybe outwardly, but most of the time this all takes place in my mind.
I had one of these moments this morning, during a middle-of-the-night diaper change, when a miraculous two outfits get soaked, as my daughter exercised her gift of waiting until the diaper is off to relieve herself. I reached into the diaper bag and the wipes were nowhere to be found; meanwhile, she’s squirming all through the mess on the changing pad. The disinfectant spray was empty and the pacifier would not stay in her mouth, no matter what I did (a small strip of duct tape did cross my mind).
In my mind, I blamed a half-dozen people for why all these problems were their fault.
And that’s when it hit me. It’s not about them. They had nothing to do with it. It’s about me and my heart.
God immediately made it apparent to me that it’s been several days without a solid devotional time with Him, and it was showing. So as I realize this, and try to draw away for a few moments before I go up to get my precious daughter for her morning bottle, I humble myself before you and show my cards.
None of us are perfect. Who are you when you’re at your worst? Where is Christ in the midst of that? May you find Him and cling to Him, no matter how many stinky diapers get thrown your way 😉