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Learning new depths of stillness

Learning new depths of stillness

September 29, 2018 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

When I first began writing, ages ago, my blog was entitled “Be Still And Know…”. I was probably about 18 years old and, even at that point, had realized the importance of solitude, silence and stillness.

Now, 16 years later, I get the sense that I’m learning about this profound power all over again.

Life has sped up, changed and become exponentially more complicated than it was then. And I believe that it’s for this reason that the concept of stillness is re-emerging for me.

A Full Life

Many people have lives that are way more hectic and overfilled than mine, so I don’t claim to have the corner on “scheduling eccentricity.” But life is full. A growing ministry, a growing business, a growing family; sometimes it feels non-stop. There is no idle “boredom time” filled with TV or social media in my life. The term “full” implies both a joyful/thankful life, as well as an exhausted one.

So when my 5:30 mornings aren’t already committed with diaper-changing or early-risers, I’m fighting hard for time with the Lord and squeezing in a few more pages of an inspiring book. This year, those books have introduced me to some ultra-productive, deep-thinking writers who have made me question my ways.

“There’s a hole in the Matrix”

Busyness is not a badge of honor.

I think it all started with the “4-Hour Workweek” by Tim Ferriss. He talks about how being perpetually busy is a form of laziness, not a perverse badge of honor.

That hit me.

In a world where we commonly respond to “how are you doing?” with “Phew! Been busy!”, this perspective is refreshing and — in my opinion — dead on.

We’re WAY too busy, and with absolutely the wrong types of stuff.

Overactivity isn’t necessarily moving the ball forward, and certainly not the most important ball.

It feels likes productivity, but it’s likely missing the point.

When I stop to be still, I remember what really matters:

  • I’m small.
  • God is big.
  • Invest in the things that’ll cry at your funeral… people matter.

So, making money or growing a church or running for office; they’re all good things. But they’re not eternal things. And if they aren’t your wife, children or the people that God has called you to… they really are the wrong things to be spending your life pouring into.

Going Deep

I’m wrapping up a book called “Deep Work” by Cal Newport, in which he makes a convincing case for cutting away from the things that are “shallow”, such as social media, email and distraction-heavy tasks, in exchange for blocks of time that are dedicated to high-value tasks that require the deeper parts of your mind to engage.

He argues for strict “no work” times because the brain needs space for rest. And then he uses science to prove that the brain truly needs that resting space in order to do it’s best productive work while in the office.

The prevalence of the smart phone, and the pull of unfinished projects at work, tug at me while I’m supposed to be lavishing attention on my kids and wife. Thoughts like these, from Cal and Tim are emboldening me to make steps towards “mental freedom” and slowing down enough to be present with my family… with the people that matter most; to be still and know that there is a God, and I am not Him.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Priorities, Productivity, Solitude, Stillness

Walking Tall In Babylon

Walking Tall In Babylon – A Review

February 2, 2016 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

Walking Tall In Babylon Cover
Walking Tall In Babylon by Connie Neal
I just completed Connie Neal’s “Walking Tall In Babylon: Raising children to be godly and wise in a perilous world.” The book hinges on the story of Daniel and his long-named buddies who extricated from their hometown and made to live and serve in the treacherous and ungodly city of Babylon. Together, with the Lord as their strength, they stood tall, despite life-threatening oppression and cultural pressure.

To summarize the book, we have a role as Christian parents to raise our children intentionally so that they develop the fortitude to stand up to the tides of culture and, in the end, glorify God by blessing and influencing those around them.

Personally, this book was meaningful because of the name and vision we have for our son, Gabriel Truth Steck. While he was in womb, I got the picture of him as a young man, wading out into a strong, rushing stream. He took with him a warrior’s sword and drove it into the silty riverbed.

As the powerful waters pushed against him, he stood strong, creating an obstacle for the river’s flow. His courage and strength to hold his ground created a swirling eddy behind him, reversing the flow of some of the water and providing a safe haven for others to come behind and find rest.

In this vision, my son’s goal wasn’t to “fight against the culture tides” but to take a stand and remain faithful; knowing who he is, who his God is, and what his purpose was; allowing others to take courage and do the same.

Walking Tall In Babylon has a similar premise to it. It’s not so much a right-wing, conservative, Christian anthem condemning the sins of our Sodom and Gomorrah-style culture, but an incitement to parents that it is possible to raise children with healthy values and convictions, as well as a profound love for the lost.

If I were to be completely forthright with this review, my opinion is reflects that of many books, in that they could convey the same message in fewer words. I also felt that the book lacked a variety of practical advice. There were some very good examples, but with redundancy and lack of applicational scope.

That said, I’d be amiss not to point out the beautiful analogies pulled from the life of Daniel in Babylon — striking resemblance to what we’re sending our children out into. Connie Neal did an awesome job of drawing out Biblical truth throughout the book.

    A few highlights from Walking Tall in Babylon:

  • Raising Christ-centered children is not about sheltering them
  • Walking tall in babylon looks like befriending and loving the everyone: goths, jocks and geeks alike
  • Expect rejection, both from the lost and other believers; just as Jesus was scoffed for hanging with tax collectors and prostitutes
  • A parent’s role is to take advantage of every moment as an opportunity to impart a Biblical worldview
  • Protecting your child so they stay pure and innocent, while not keeping them sheltered, requires that you don’t live in fear of the world

Overall, I believe Walking Tall in Babylon has good insight and food for thought. Surprisingly, I’ve not found many other great books that discuss the topic. If you have suggestions for other books to review, send them our way. Thanks to Connie Neal for going before us young parents and helping to encourage and guide the way to raising children that are prepared and not afraid of walking tall in Babylon.

Filed Under: Family

Loving our kids on purpose featured image

Loving our kids on purpose – A review

December 20, 2015 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

Loving Our Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk
Loving Our Kids On Purpose by Danny Silk
Just wrapped up Loving our Kids on Purpose, a fantastic book by Danny Silk. I was first introduced to Danny by listening to his teaching on “Culture of Honor”, which is really incredible and worth getting a hold of. The theme of that teaching bled through into this book: a culture of honor understands that a relationship is two powerful people having the ability to communicate and have their needs met. Loving your kids on purpose is an intentional effort to respect your child’s power in the relationship in order to nurture a heart connection.

“Fantastic” and “incredible” are big words to use for a book, but I feel that the concepts being communicated are so counter-intuitive from our predisposed I’m-the-parent-so-I-deserve-respect way of thinking, that the potential for revolutionized parent-child relationships is, indeed, incredible.

The premise of the book is a call away from a punishment-based mentality. Fear is opposed to love and punishment is about fear. Instead, Danny encourages parents to empower your children to encounter the consequences of their decisions — good or bad. Parents have a role to protect their child from life-threatening or long-term consequences, but through guiding questions and freedom, we introduce them to consequences and allow them to find that we are a wealth of wisdom that can save them from those consequences. So it’s not a power-play, but a display of power — their power — to make decisions.

Big takeaways from Loving our kids on purpose

  • Every human is a powerful being; worthy of respect and capable of making decisions and enduring the consequences.
  • Relationships operate in love and respect, not in power struggles. No one wins in “Red Truck, Yellow Truck.”
  • Punishment breeds fear. Respect breeds trust and love.
  • I cannot force my child to respect me through threats or power plays. By enabling them to be powerful, I show respect and earn theirs.
  • My goal is not compliance, but to have a loving heart-connection with my child. This “kite string” of love will keep us connected, even when my child is at a distance, being blown in the freedom of adolescence and adulthood.
  • When my child is free to choose, they are free to encounter the effects of those decisions.
  • Children are smart. Instead of barking orders, I can present their problems to them so they can learn to engage their own brains in finding a solution.

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: Culture of Honor, Parenting

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