I’m writing this from a weak place.
The Lord has been very good to us. All my needs are met. There is so much to be thankful for and I am undeserving of the blessings that are all around me.
Yet, I am struggling. Reaching and grasping for contentment and trust in the Lord.
This morning I woke to read an e-mail stating that the home we are attempting to purchase is slipping out of our grasps. The appraisal came back with an acceptable value, but “subject to repairs”. That line, “subject to repairs” is what is keeping the lending bank from giving us the loan; and it is that decision that is making this gorgeous, sunny December day so painful.
Moments after reading this, I opened my Bible and read these words:
You are my King and my God. You command victories for Israel. Only by your power can we push back our enemies; only in your name can we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow; I do not count on my sword to save me. You are the one who gives us victory over our enemies… O God, we give glory to you all day long and constantly praise your name.” Psalm 44:4-8
This Psalm is heart-wrenching and strangely familiar today. So with nowhere to turn and no answers, I confess my weakness and present this situation with this claimed truth: There will be no victory unless the Lord provides.
“Lord I trust You alone. You are my strength and a mighty mountain which I hide within. You protect me out of the goodness of your heart and not because I am worthy of it in any way. You desire me and I bask in your love. Father of heaven and earth, in utter and complete surrender, I come to Your throne-room asking for You to do what only You can do. Come. Change my heart. Move a mountain. It’s my desire that we would have this house, but Your will be done.”