Pride Archives - To Live As Christ

When it’s better to receive than to give

February 28, 2016 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

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I believe that there is a time and position of the soul when it’s better to receive than to give.

Sincere pursuit of selflessness can turn into a kind altruism that is detrimental to our identity. In the effort of serving, loving and giving of ourselves, it’s so easy to get attached to the insatiable desire to please everyone and every thing. Our good intentions move us down a dangerous path of earning and striving, which is ultimately rooted in fear and not love.

Each time we bless others out of this good but tainted source, we deposit a little bit more of our worth and value in our actions.

What I’ve found to be true is that God’s love was never prompted from our actions. Instead, it is our very identity as His sons and daughters that induces this great love. It is relationship, not effort. And ultimately, it is identity — God’s identity, as the eternal source of love, reflected in us.

When Humility Is Really Pride

Ever been complimented and immediately denied the encouragement by listing a barrage of reasons why that could not possibly be true?

Ever give a compliment and get rejected like I would if I tried to dunk against an NBA player? Yeah. No fun. What’s up with that?

It’s false humility. And it can fool the best of us. Usually it’s because we don’t actually believe the compliment; either because of low self-esteem or being conditioned to reject compliments out of fear of being thought arrogant and thus unloveable.

This was me too. But I learned that the very response I thought was humility was actually pride. Giving off the aura of humility, my dejection of truth was actually a method of drawing more attention to myself. Don’t we all love it when, after rejecting encouragement, they come back with an extra heaping of it to help convince us?

I’ve found that true humility is grounded in God-centered identity and it allows us to accept compliments with a simple, “Thank you!”

Try it sometime. You’ll be amazed and what kinds of emotions and thoughts bubble up to the surface of your mind when you do; and once you get over the awkwardness of simply accepting encouragement, you can bring it before the Lord and let God heal you of the lies you believe about yourself.

Learning To Receive

I believe that the reason we’ve developed this “compliment-shield” is that, at our core, we don’t believe we are lovable. We believe we must earn love and that we couldn’t possibly be worthy of love simply because of who we are.

But this is what Jesus came to earth to prove to us:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

God’s desire has always been for unity with His people. You were worthy of His love and sacrifice, even before you breathed your first breath.

Just try to say that: “I am worthy of love. God made me worthy of love.”

It’s not sin. It’s not arrogance. It’s not pride. It’s truth. And it brings God glory.

Let God love you.

When we acknowledge God’s love for us and our worthiness of God’s love, simply on the basis of being His, He is glorified. So stop fearing love. Step into it. When you do, you will experience the completeness that He intended for His children and you will understand that there is a time when it is better to receive than to give.

How to cure stinginess

June 24, 2014 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

Have you ever clenched your fists around the money in your pocket as you passed the beggar? Have you ever taken a bathroom break, knowing that one of your co-workers were coming office-to-office raising funds for their kid’s project or the next 5k race they were running? Do you tense up as you leave the grocery store, knowing that the girl scouts are waiting right outside? I do. And if you’re like me, you don’t want this to be true about you. I’d like to know how to cure stinginess.

What is the grip that money and time hold on us? At the root, I believe a lack of love is at work. This lack of love produces pride and fear. Protecting our time and quenching our desires is the result of living out of an insufficiently filled “love tank”. Self-preservation becomes the focus and we put ourselves before others.

Pride causes me to shake my fist at the red light while I’m running errands. Fear prompts that small internal voice to say, “No, I won’t share that last piece with you.” Stinginess is simply the outflow of a heart that is living in fear.

So what is the cure to fear, pride and stinginess?

It’s love. It always comes back here, doesn’t it.

How do we grow in love? The same way we survive dehydration in the wilderness. When you’re out of water and are at risk of dehydration, you can’t just drink out of the stream next to you. Even clean-looking mountain streams carry bacteria that can make you sick and speed up the dehydration process. So you must head to the source, where it is pure.

Carrying this analogy out, there are a few ways to find pure water. Rain water can be trusted, because it’s untouched, yet it comes in sprinkles and dashes. Creating a solar still will allow you to collect water that evaporates from living plants and the ground; but evaporation is a slow process that yields very little. The best method, though not always available, is to find the water that comes from deep in the ground: a spring or a well. This water is abundant and pure.

I’ve often said that my time with the Lord in the morning is what keeps me a nice person. My wife knows what kind of person I can become when I don’t maintain that appointment with God. This is my time to go drink from the well. A service on Sunday or a book I’m reading — those are like solar stills and rain water — they help, but they are insufficient for the long haul. But time with the Lord is my “well”.

Recognizing that God first loved and that He still loves me with abundance, despite my selfish sin nature, enables me to walk in love towards those around me.

My selfishness over my time and my money shows that I don’t trust that God is going to provide and protect. It shows that, in my mind, I have placed myself above God. I’ve begun to rely on my own abilities to get the project done on time or have enough saved for that home downpayment, instead of believing that He loves me enough to take care of me.

Curing stinginess, at it’s root, means heading to love’s source.

When is the last time you lowered the gates of your heart and let God’s love simply wash over you?

My recent journey in character development

July 23, 2012 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

We have only to sit more continually at the foot of the cross to be less troubled with our doubts and woes. We have but to see His sorrows, and our sorrows we shall be ashamed to mention.” – C.H. Spurgeon

This morning I’m convicted by Charles Spurgeon’s writings as I’ve spent the last week or so wrestling in my heart and my mind about an issue we are having with the apartment complex we are living at. We’ve decided to take a position with a full-time leadership and discipleship ministry, which requires us to move and break our lease. Because of this, the complex wants to charge us over one thousand dollars as an early move-out penalty.

While this is difficult to swallow for anyone, I’ve really noticed my frugality coming through and it has been killing me. I find myself waking up thinking about it or briefly pausing throughout the day to dream up some circumstance where we wouldn’t owe the money. The real character barometer has been those moments when I catch myself conjuring up ways to cheat the system or retaliate against the apartment complex for their unwillingness to show grace.

I spoke with the company and fervently pleaded my case, sometimes with teary eyes, only to be defeated and told that there was no way to change the circumstances: I had signed the contract and I must pay the penalty.

Learning from my failures
This experience has brought me face-to-face with my idolatry of money. In the grand scheme of life, a thousand dollars is really not much. But to me, in this instance, it felt like the world was crashing down — and I realized that my view of money had become paramount to other virtues and I had momentarily lost my eternity-based perspective on life. True, I am called to be a steward of my resources, so there was legitimate pain there, but if I live with the perspective that Christ is King of all heavenly and earthly resources, then this situation should not have troubled me as it did.

I also learned from this experience that my encounter with grace has jaded me. The undeserved, and unending grace that has been shown to me by Christ has led me to expect similar grace from the world; and that simply is not going to happen. While God may freely bestow forgiveness and continual pursuit of a relationship with me, the world is still mastered by “the prince of the air” (Satan), which is constantly seeking my destruction and demise. Yet, what Satan intends for my downfall, God has redesigned for my sanctification and ultimately His glory. So while, the situation is frustrating and defeating, it opens my eyes to appreciate even more the grace of God.

My hunch is that the Holy Spirit is going to continue to teach me from this event, but for now, the last piece I want to share about my learnings is about faith. A very large part of me was hoping for a rescue of biblical-proportions. I kept picturing God fighting for Israel and the various ways that he led them into battle and fought for them; I saw moonlit images in my mind of the Israelite army encircling the enemy camp from the surrounding hills, shouting and hurling clay jars, only to watch the enemy, confused by the army of God, destroy themselves in a midnight massacre. I wanted to see God come through for me, and not have to even draw my sword.

So far, that hasn’t happened. And that’s difficult to take in. It challenges my faith and requires that I lean into Him even more and trust that He knows what is best. I am humbled and even feel defeated. But in my doubt and weakness, I hear the Lord’s voice beckoning me to draw near and rest in Him. His “rescue” may not look like I’d like it to. He may need to first rescue me from myself and my corrupted heart. And so in this moment of challenge, I surrender, yet again and raise the white flag to Him. Because, while my selfishness wants to take charge, the Holy Spirit reminds me that God is ultimately and eternally in control. He is the beginning and end and His plans will ALWAYS be better than mine.

“Lord, in this moment, help me come to the foot of Your cross and regain perspective. I want to meditate on the sacrifice You made and the endless grace You impart to me. Forgive my disbelief and my idolatry. Have Your way and have the glory, even if it causes me pain. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. You are my one true love. Thank you for this opportunity to know You and Your love more deeply. You are precious to me, my Lord. Thank you.”

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