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Fathered By God by John Eldredge

Book Review: Fathered By God by John Eldredge

June 25, 2017 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

Fathered By God Book Cover
Fathered By God by John Eldredge

Fathered by God builds upon the premise of John Eldrege’s previous books, Wild At Heart and The Sacred Romance, that there is a lack of true manhood in the world and that manhood is more than just engine grease and NFL highlights. In Fathered by God, John suggests that we have neglected one of the most essential processes in becoming a man, namely, the initiation.

The initiation of men is culturally lost in America, but has historically been one of the quintessential factors in developing young men. Initiation is the bestowment of manhood from the “kings and sages” that have earned it, to the young “cowboys and warriors” that seek it. Fathered by God offers suggestions and examples for fathers who want to lead their boys into manhood, and hope for men of any age that hope is not lost, should their own initiation have been neglected.

One of the aspects I appreciated most about Fathered by God is the clear roadmap offered by Eldredge, guiding the way from boyhood to sage; from childhood to venerability. In his typical style, beautiful imagery, stories and movie scenes are used to evoke passionate displays of these progressive stages of manhood:

  1. Boyhood
  2. Coyboy
  3. Warrior
  4. Lover
  5. King
  6. Sage

Fathered by God through boyhood

Eldredge paints beautiful scenes of playful boyhood: tree climbing, endless imagination and backyard running — you know, the stuff The Sandlot and The Neverending Story were made of. Kids loving life and going on adventures, even just in their imaginations.

It’s also in boyhood that most men receive their first wounding. Either from an absent or abusive father, a controlling mother, the rejection of friends or sexual abuse… the list goes on. This tender stage leaves children vulnerable to pain and lies received from the world around them. For us to grow into healthy men, it’s important to understand this and to acknowledge where we may be wounded and need healing.

Fathered by God as a Cowboy

The “Cowboy” is the stage entered around 8 years old, weilding pretend guns, going on exploratory adventures, showing off strength and intellectual prowess. Sadly, this wonderful and healthy stage becomes the ultimate demise for some, as many men grow old but never leave “the Cowboy”.

It’s part of the development of a man, but we weren’t meant to stay here forever. In almost ever case, it takes a true man to call out the cowboy and invite him to continue his journey of manhood.

Fathered by God as the Warrior

Once a man realizes that his ultimate joy in life isn’t to showboat on his horse all day, but a deeper joy comes from fighting for something, someone or some cause. To have passion and put it on the line for another, is one of the greatest shows of love. Our selfless sacrifice is a reflective characteristic of God Himself, who put His own life on the cross for our sakes.

Jesus Christ is the ultimate warrior, and machismo and violent acts of earthly warriors, who only look out for their personal good, is just a lousy counterfeit of the real thing. Jesus’ perfect self-sacrificing love for us.

Fathered by God into a Lover

The warrior never really leaves a man, but it also shouldn’t dominate him. There is another aspect of manhood that runs in tandem with the warrior. That is, “the lover”. Together, the lover and warrior prepare a man for kingship, and it seems to me that he lover may be the first step towards the eventual stage of manhood, which Eldridge calls “the sage”.

As the lover is cultivated within a man, qualities such as gentleness, thoughtfulness and romance emerge. Enjoyment of poetry, the beauty of nature and adoring respect for God’s inherent fingerprint on women, become a part of a young man’s thoughts and behavior. A man grows in depth and richness as the lover inside of him comes alive.

The lover, though romantic, isn’t necessarily sexual in nature. That would be far too limiting. He is more than that. He is breathing in the fullness of life and, with it, reflecting God’s nature as creator and enjoyer of excessive and unrelenting beauty.

Fathered by God in Kingship

Men were made to be Kings. When a man rules well, he brings glory to God by pointing back to the ultimate King as a son who was made in his Father’s image.

Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.” Genesis 1:28 NLT

We were created to reveal God to men, by sharing in the responsibility and honor of governing and reigning well over creation. God partially relinquishes his dominion so that we may join him in the role of lordship.

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings. Proverbs 25:2 NIV</cite

Kings are meant to explore, expand, inquire and conquer. We search out mysterious, because in the discovery, God is revealed and glorified, often for the greater benefit of the people.

Now if we are children, then we are heirs–heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:17 NIV

We as Kings and heirs to rule and reign with Christ, invited to share in both His glory and His suffering. Proper Kingship is not about sitting on a throne and being served; it’s actually about getting off the throne and serving those who are under your authority. The misunderstanding of kingship and authority is what makes so many women cringe at the thought of a husband being “the head of the household”.

When the godly are in authority, the people rejoice. But when the wicked are in power, they groan. Proverbs 29:2 NLT

Men, are your wife and children rejoicing or groaning under your leadership?

Fathered by God as a Sage

The last stage of manhood in Fathered by God is “the sage”. Many men never arrive here, because they never graduate from the previous levels.

The Sage is one who has been a cowboy, warrior, lover and king. He has fought well and has something to offer. His effort and diligence has earned him something more valuable than gold or silver: wisdom.

Our society has been negligent to bestow honor the elders in our communities who have gone before and cleared the way for us. These men have seen battlefields, lost loved ones, provided for their families and loved their wives well. They have sought God, wrestled with Him and now “walk with a limp” because God has left His mark on them. In humility and with perspective, these sages offer years of experience and prevent incalculable amounts of pain and suffering for those who heed their advice.

Conclusion

I was really blessed by Fathered by God. It falls right in line with our work, training Christian leaders at Revolution5, and I believe this book would be incredibly valuable for both sons and fathers to read, as each will benefit from it, regardless of which stage they find themselves in.

Thanks Mr. Eldridge, for continuing the passionate pursuit of discipling young men into the image of Christ.

Filed Under: Discipleship Tagged With: Fatherhood, John Eldredge, Manhood

Freedom of Simplicity Featured Image

Book Review: Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster

January 1, 2017 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

To put it in a sentence: less is more.

Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster
Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster

Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster beckons all Christians to reconsider the excess which we allow to consume and define our lives. From over-busy schedules to feeding the ever-present demand for “more”, Foster pushes on the cavities of our heart and probes the reader’s deeper desires, asking from whence they came.

A student and teacher of spiritual disciplines, Richard Foster is also the author of “Celebration of the Disciplines” which changed my life when I read it at 18 years old. Though Celebration of the Disciplines outlines a dozen core spiritual practices, it doesn’t place guilty burdens on the reader or muck things up with philosophical jargon, and nor does Freedom of Simplicity.

The call to the church to reconsider their ways is both gentle and yet profound. Richard makes a strong case for believers to evaluate whether we are playing into the same system that we are fighting against, which is a system that seeks everything but the Kingdom of God first.

He points out that:

“While simplicity provides an answer to the modern dilemma, it does not provide an easy answer.”

The “dilemma”, Foster describes, is that our “Contemporary culture is plagued by the passion to possess… [and] furthermore, the pace of the modern world accentuates our feeling of being fractured and fragmented.” In other words, we’re being crushed by rush.

After laying the groundwork for his case via scripture and history, the book goes on to explore both inner, outer and corporate responses to the call — which I love, because often authors and speakers will draw conviction to an issue by spotlighting it, but fail to offer an appropriate response.

The journey of inner simplicity involves God-granted self-acceptance and choosing to abide in the “divine center”. This divines center offers inner peace and the cure from the seemingly insatiable demand for more. Our identity is no longer wrapped in acquiring stuff and success.

Out of this inner stillness, Foster looks at how obedience to the Holy Spirit simplifies our lives; holiness is not about striving and complicated laws, but simple and pure momentary obedience to God. If we continue to draw back to “the center”, most of life’s anxiety-laden decisions become effortless “yes Lord, okay Lord” experiences.

Through vulnerable examples and relatable stories from his own life, Richard Foster unveils practical steps towards simplicity, such as (in my words):

  • The power of saying “no”
  • Disengaging from over-involvement in church activities or social commitments
  • Community living and the impact of sharing possessions instead of owning
  • Avoiding the bombardment of media and its’ inherent lies of marketing

This book, which was written 3 years before my own birth and which I’m now reading 35 years after it was penned, describes a plugged-in and over-consumptive society of America in the 1980’s. How much more valuable and poignant are these words today, considering we’ve been on a non-stop barrel ride down the waterfalls of excess since then?

Foster’s encouragement towards individual lifestyles of self-imposed pseudo-poverty for the sake of spiritual abundance, intertwine with his philosophical over what this would look like at a societal level. Freedom of Simplicity goes on to consider the impact of our consumptive and self-focused decision making on our world.

He makes the case that we can no longer ignore the plight of millions who are suffering starvation, abuse and neglect around the globe. By allowing and benefiting from the products of multinational corporations, we’ve unwittingly affected the lives of people all over the world. Our greed is exacerbating their need.

We don’t get to choose whether or not we are a part of a global economy or not. Our lifestyle has already demanded this; the shoes we wear, the cars we drive, this computer I type on… in the name of affordability and luxury, we’ve allowed a burden to be placed on the third-world, and we have a responsibility to accept that guilt and respond.

In Freedom of Simplicity, Foster only provides a skimming view of the subject, but invites the church to take the lead in acknowledging our part and moving forward towards healing and balance.

Conclusion

In the end, this book hit me squarely between the eyes, convicting me in the midst of the Christmas season and in a time of my life when I was beginning to question my own “success” in the world’s eyes. I happened along the book in the right timing, because it has drawn my thoughts back to God’s perspective on my life and His desire to restore simple love and obedience in His children.

I highly recommend that you pick up a copy of Freedom of Simplicity — or better yet, that you rent it from the library or borrow mine — it just may be the key to unlocking inner simplicity and uncovering God’s design for joy in your life.

Filed Under: Soul Care Tagged With: Richard Foster, Simplicity

When It's Better To Receive Than To Give

When it’s better to receive than to give

February 28, 2016 by brianmichaelsteck Leave a Comment

I believe that there is a time and position of the soul when it’s better to receive than to give.

Sincere pursuit of selflessness can turn into a kind altruism that is detrimental to our identity. In the effort of serving, loving and giving of ourselves, it’s so easy to get attached to the insatiable desire to please everyone and every thing. Our good intentions move us down a dangerous path of earning and striving, which is ultimately rooted in fear and not love.

Each time we bless others out of this good but tainted source, we deposit a little bit more of our worth and value in our actions.

What I’ve found to be true is that God’s love was never prompted from our actions. Instead, it is our very identity as His sons and daughters that induces this great love. It is relationship, not effort. And ultimately, it is identity — God’s identity, as the eternal source of love, reflected in us.

When Humility Is Really Pride

Ever been complimented and immediately denied the encouragement by listing a barrage of reasons why that could not possibly be true?

Ever give a compliment and get rejected like I would if I tried to dunk against an NBA player? Yeah. No fun. What’s up with that?

It’s false humility. And it can fool the best of us. Usually it’s because we don’t actually believe the compliment; either because of low self-esteem or being conditioned to reject compliments out of fear of being thought arrogant and thus unloveable.

This was me too. But I learned that the very response I thought was humility was actually pride. Giving off the aura of humility, my dejection of truth was actually a method of drawing more attention to myself. Don’t we all love it when, after rejecting encouragement, they come back with an extra heaping of it to help convince us?

I’ve found that true humility is grounded in God-centered identity and it allows us to accept compliments with a simple, “Thank you!”

Try it sometime. You’ll be amazed and what kinds of emotions and thoughts bubble up to the surface of your mind when you do; and once you get over the awkwardness of simply accepting encouragement, you can bring it before the Lord and let God heal you of the lies you believe about yourself.

Learning To Receive

I believe that the reason we’ve developed this “compliment-shield” is that, at our core, we don’t believe we are lovable. We believe we must earn love and that we couldn’t possibly be worthy of love simply because of who we are.

But this is what Jesus came to earth to prove to us:

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

God’s desire has always been for unity with His people. You were worthy of His love and sacrifice, even before you breathed your first breath.

Just try to say that: “I am worthy of love. God made me worthy of love.”

It’s not sin. It’s not arrogance. It’s not pride. It’s truth. And it brings God glory.

Let God love you.

When we acknowledge God’s love for us and our worthiness of God’s love, simply on the basis of being His, He is glorified. So stop fearing love. Step into it. When you do, you will experience the completeness that He intended for His children and you will understand that there is a time when it is better to receive than to give.

Filed Under: Soul Care Tagged With: Humility, love, Pride

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